Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Random thoughts...

Some of the things that have crossed my mind during the 5 weeks that we have been home.

1. Where was Faith born, did the mother suffer, was she alone, is she alive?
2. Who cut the cord? My daughter has such a cute belly button, and we were not a part of that. Jeff got to deliver Dallin, and cut the cord on all our other children. For some reason,this just made me so sad.
3. Did the mother watch for someone to find our daughter, or just drop her and leave. From the records, I cannot imagine a woman leaving her tiny infant to overheat in 105 degree weather all day, but that is what happened. That is how our daughter came to be in the special needs section of the orphanage, from Hyperthermia.
4. Did the heat cause her brain defect?
5. In a perfect world Faith would not be our daughter...adoption would not be necessary because every child would be born to a loving father and mother in a loving environment.
6. Does that mean that she wasn't meant to be our daughter...well yes and no. Because of free agency, or no agency (China law) it's not a perfect world; she was abandoned, and God will compensate when there are open hearts and minds to listen. I believe she is becoming ours as we learn and grow together through God's perfect love. He has placed this love in our hearts and her siblings hearts for her as if she were born of us.
6. God loves his children (Including adults). If more people had open hearts and less fear there would be less orphans and happier adults.
7. Faith spiritually knows that being in a family with a father and a mother is where she is suppose to be. She just takes us in her arms and squeezes us, saying "SiSi's mama, SiSi's baba." She feels complete ownership of us, and we love every minute.
8. I cannot imagine life without her, or remember what our home was like before her.( I think pretty boring) She brings us such laughter, and seeing the world through her eyes has been a gift.
9. Do people always hunger for the negative? It seems there are folks out there just waiting for a good rejection story. There have been a few stories I have told, that have spread like wild fire. I even overheard someone I hardly know, telling another woman about how Faith just screams all night long? NOT...she had a few nights, (meaning 2) where she didn't want to go to bed. Out of 48 nights together I would say that is a success. I just hate drama. She is darling, and sweet, and funny, and has adapted so very well, I sometimes just wonder what the big deal is all about.
10. Well I don't have a 10th thought...but doesn't it feel like I need a number 10 to complete my random thought entry?