Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sick again...I have lost count:(

I was reading over my blog and read my post dated February 9th (sick again)  So that was nothing to how many times we have been to the doctor now.  In fact, the doc and I are becoming good friends. I know his dog sleeps with him, he also had adopted two sons, he has a boat, he has diabetes... he has gotten comfortable around me and tells me to shush when I start talking while he is trying to listening to Faith's chest...it's really sad, my social environment has become the doctor's office.  The nurses and I are getting along great also.  Everyone greets Faith when we walk in the door, and they all let her have what ever she wants with the treats and stickers. 
I  honestly cannot even count how many times we have been in to see him.  Faith has now been on antibiotics longer than she has not.  We are on 70 days I believe.  Those days are intermittent.  She takes them for 20 days is healthy and happy during that time, then when she goes off she slowly declines until we are back at the doctor with either a fever or an infection of some kind. 
This Friday we are heading to the specialists at Seattle's Children's Hospital, hoping to figure out what is up with our Little miss Faith. 
The most difficult part is holding her down for the blood work, while she is screaming Ma Ma  several times, and looking at me confused.   We are trying to form a trusting bond and I am helping to hurt her...I am sure she is just so confused.  I almost passed out the last time they drew blood because they couldn't find a vein and rolled that needle under her skin forever, all the while she is screaming...grrr. Poor Baby!
So more needles, and unknowns in our near future...I wonder when I look back at this post what will have transpired? 

Friday, May 14, 2010

Hello Mr. Sun!

So last week we got hail and this week blue skies and temperatures in the 70's! Faith loved helping her "Gi Gi" wash her car!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Oh Hail!

What is with this spring weather...

Monday, May 3, 2010

Walk for a Cure

Our oldest son is Diabetic.  It was the summer before he would start middle school as a 6th grader.  I remember well the realization that something was wrong.  I sent him shopping for school clothes with a friend.  He came home with a size smaller jeans than he wore the year before.  By the end of the summer Spencer had lost 20 pounds, and was so lathargic, spending all his days and nights in bed...too tired to play with his friends, too tired to do anything but eat and sleep.  He was always starving and thirsty.  He ate 5 hotdogs and was still hungry.  He drank 2 1/2 gallons of water in one day.   My sweet boy  was dying.  I was scared and desperate.  Everyone kept reassuring me that he was going through a growth spurt and that is what teenagers do...sleep and eat.  I knew in my heart that something was terribly wrong.  Jeff and I decided to fast and pray for an answer. 
That same day my husband Jeff heard the still, small whisperings of the Holy Ghost.  Heavenly Father had answered our prayers. While driving home from church my husband said, " I know what is wrong with Spencer.  He has Juvenile Diabetes."  This prompting from the Holy Ghost led us to the Internet when we got home.  We read everything we could about the disease.  My husband then gave my son a blessing.  In that blessing I remember Spencer being told that Heavenly Father loved him,  that he gives us trials so we may become stronger and closer to him.  Spencer was told that Heavenly Father will bless him with the ability and strength to manage and live with this illness."
Tears were pouring down my face as I silently cried;  Silent because I did not want Spencer to know or see how scared and sad I was.   The blessing confirmed to me the fact that this illness was a lifetime disease, which meant a lifetime of struggles and suffering.  I mourned for my son, for the quality of life he had just lost.  For his youth, and freedom.
Diabetes is an all consuming disease.  Once you are diagnosed, you life becomes subject to numbers; highs and lows.  Peaks and Valleys.  You are governed by time, food, calories.  The freedom that was lost that day was immeasurable, not only for Spencer...but for our entire family.  I jokingly would tell people I am now his Pancreas.  I took over the roll of his ailing body, planning...preparing and measuring everything he ate.  I learned how to administer shots, and gave them up to 4 times a day.
Spencer went into shock.  He missed his first week of middle school.  Because of this he had no idea how to transition  from elementary school with one home room to now 6 classes a day.  At lunch instead of eating with his friends, he was in the nurses office...checking his blood and treating his new disease.   It was so traumatising for him; I remember offering to pay him a dollar a shot to give him something to work towards.  He said "No way, it's not worth it."  We ended up agreeing on two dollars a shot.  Times that by up to 4 shots a day.  I paid him a lot of cash that fall.  His grades slipped and it didn't matter to me.  I told him, just focus on your health this year,  you get a free pass for school work and stress this year.  We will refocus in 7th grade.  And we did. 
Spencer was 12 when he was diagnosed.  There is no cure.  They are getting close...which is sooo exciting.  Every year we walk and raise awareness and funds to cure this lifelong disease.  If you have the means please donate to our team.  My daughter Kylee is the team captain and I couldn't be prouder.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Happy Birthday Dallin!

I just can't believe my {baby} boy is twelve! Don't you just love this picture of him!  Doesn't he look twelve! Where did the time go?  Dallin is soooo glad he is twelve.  He was not happy being the baby of the family and welcomed Faith with open arms! 
At age twelve he can now move into the youth group at church and take on greater responsibilities.  He will be able to pass the sacrament and attend weekly activities with Kylee and Jensen.  In his own words he is now " Not stuck home with mom"...dreadful I know.  Dallin is my pessimist,  the cup is half empty.  I am not sure how to help him transition his attitude but we keep trying.  For his birthday he got an online membership  to Pirates of the Caribbean Disney game and he is going to go golfing with Dad and Jensen...a guy's day.  He is so excited to use his clubs.  We will then go out to eat at a restaurant of his choice then come home for homemade cake and ice-cream.  We have such unique traditions right? 
Dallin's birthday also has significant meaning for our family because it was on Dallin's birthday a year ago that we found our daughter.  Jeff and I drove to our new adoption agency to fill out paperwork.  We had not planned on reviewing faces or files; she was not in their system until that morning we arrived.  An employee was surprised to see a new file and mentioned it.  It peaked our curiosity and we hovered over her shoulder to take a look. . 
That is when we saw her beautiful face. She was the first file we looked at and the only file we looked at. I am so grateful for that. I can't imagine pouring over faces and files to find her. 
So happy to celebrate two of our beautiful children on May Day!