New ~ OLD~ Pictures

Before we had Faith home, pictures were a treasure, something that connected us to her in a desperate way to somehow know her. Today after having her home for three months and loving her like we do, these pictures are a painful reminder of the time she was not ours. They remind me of her beginning, her abandonment,and her poor health and suffering. I actually don't like them. Is that wrong? These were found by the volunteer in her orphanage after cleaning out some files. I have a hard time looking at them and briefly did when they showed up in my inbox a few months ago. I almost forgot about them...until today. Today I ran across them and decided I should post them. She is my baby, the baby I never knew. Who is holding my baby anyway? I know that look in her two month old pictures...she doesn't feel well, I can tell. Did she have a tummy ache, need a diaper change, or perhaps she was hungry? Did she have an ear infection? I will never know. I do know she is a survivor, a strong little soul who defied her circumstances to not only survive...but thrive. I am so grateful for the volunteers who cared for her, and loved her when I could not. You can tell between her two month photos and her 8 month photo that she grew healthy. Looking at the later photo gives me some comfort.

~Faith at 2 months old~



~Faith at 8 months old~

~If~

If I had my child to raise all over again,I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans

~I see FIVE chickens Ma Ma!~