Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Year of the Tiger! Celebrating with friends!

Our sweet Faith all ready to celebrate!
Our oldest daughter Kylee in her new jacket :)

Dallin and his friend Bennett
Kylee & Powell and Jensen & Blake also good friends...
These two boys play basketball together for the high school...

Darling LUCY with Kylee...

Faith making a run for it!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Random thoughts...

Some of the things that have crossed my mind during the 5 weeks that we have been home.

1. Where was Faith born, did the mother suffer, was she alone, is she alive?
2. Who cut the cord? My daughter has such a cute belly button, and we were not a part of that. Jeff got to deliver Dallin, and cut the cord on all our other children. For some reason,this just made me so sad.
3. Did the mother watch for someone to find our daughter, or just drop her and leave. From the records, I cannot imagine a woman leaving her tiny infant to overheat in 105 degree weather all day, but that is what happened. That is how our daughter came to be in the special needs section of the orphanage, from Hyperthermia.
4. Did the heat cause her brain defect?
5. In a perfect world Faith would not be our daughter...adoption would not be necessary because every child would be born to a loving father and mother in a loving environment.
6. Does that mean that she wasn't meant to be our daughter...well yes and no. Because of free agency, or no agency (China law) it's not a perfect world; she was abandoned, and God will compensate when there are open hearts and minds to listen. I believe she is becoming ours as we learn and grow together through God's perfect love. He has placed this love in our hearts and her siblings hearts for her as if she were born of us.
6. God loves his children (Including adults). If more people had open hearts and less fear there would be less orphans and happier adults.
7. Faith spiritually knows that being in a family with a father and a mother is where she is suppose to be. She just takes us in her arms and squeezes us, saying "SiSi's mama, SiSi's baba." She feels complete ownership of us, and we love every minute.
8. I cannot imagine life without her, or remember what our home was like before her.( I think pretty boring) She brings us such laughter, and seeing the world through her eyes has been a gift.
9. Do people always hunger for the negative? It seems there are folks out there just waiting for a good rejection story. There have been a few stories I have told, that have spread like wild fire. I even overheard someone I hardly know, telling another woman about how Faith just screams all night long? NOT...she had a few nights, (meaning 2) where she didn't want to go to bed. Out of 48 nights together I would say that is a success. I just hate drama. She is darling, and sweet, and funny, and has adapted so very well, I sometimes just wonder what the big deal is all about.
10. Well I don't have a 10th thought...but doesn't it feel like I need a number 10 to complete my random thought entry?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Our Chinese New Year Feast!

My oldest daughter Kylee and her boyfriend Sergei
Everyone got a gift! A red envelope with money in it!
Everyone learning how to use the "Sticks" Except Faith, she knows how it's done!
(Notice her head nearly in her plate of food)

Everyone gets an orange for good fortune and we open a cookie!

Pot stickers, orange chicken, fried rice, and egg rolls.
We had to wake Faith up from her nap to eat...she was not that happy until she sat down to eat and saw all the yummy chinese food.. her mood changed quickly :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Chinese New Year!

Yes...it's a Japanese Kimono...we went to a cultural fair and the Japanese women just wanted to dress her up...how could I say no?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Time to fess up...Faith is sick again :(

*****Update...no MRI for Faith this Friday, we will try again Friday February 26th... thanks for the thoughtful words of encouragement :)
Well the last post was so great, I didn't want to update...Faith's chest infection is back and it's nasty. We realized quite quickly after the antibiotics ran their course this infection might not be that easy to deal with because within a few days her cough was back. I called the nurse and she advised me to wait another week, but my mommy instincts kicked in and the next day I made another appointment. We have been to see the doctor now 5 times in two weeks. The doctor confirmed that her chest infection was back , and said they would have to cancel her MRI if we couldn't get it cleared up. So she is now on day 5 of Augmentin, and it's a 20 day treatment. Also, we have the nebulizer again and are doing three treatments a day for two weeks. Insomnia is a side effect, and we are just loving it here at the Brown house. Faith could be the star of our circus right now because of how hyped up she is on meds.

Another medical concern came up at our last appointment, and that is her history combined with how sick she has been here at home. Since we have had her she has been on antibiotics 15 out of 30 days. Which means when she is done with this round it will be 30 out of 45 days. That is not a good sign. We are really hoping she responds to this round of meds, it really is about as aggressive as you can get with treatment, before they start testing for other diagnosis's. Our main concern is Cystic Fibrosis. We have read up a little on the disease, and feel so sad for people who suffer with it. It is completely hereditary, and very unlikely because it is rare in Asians, but our doctor said we will have to do the test, which is done with sweat, if after this round she begins to decline again.

So, that is where we are at. The MRI is the last thing on our mind right now, and the chest infection has nothing to do with her original diagnosis. I will know tomorrow if she is well enough to have the MRI on Friday.

She is still very good natured despite her infection and I have a few new pictures of her, because I just can't stop taking them! I think she is the most beautiful child on the planet!

Here she is in an original outfit I am sure no one else owns. We ruined one of her new outfits while on the trampoline. My husband was spray painting our fence, ( because it got tagged grrrr) and the overspray landed on the trampoline without me noticing. So after we came inside, I took off the ruined outfit and sat her down to eat with a placemat, the next thing you know, she wants the placemat around her and tied on with a tape measure. It looks like we won't even need to worry about her running out of new outfits, we can start using the curtains next :)

Here she is with a new shirt she picked out...

Friday, February 5, 2010

We met a month ago!

It has already been one month since our Gotcha day. My how time flies...the day before we were to meet Faith we were stranded in the Beijing Airport, standing room only with about 500 other people for over 12 hours; wondering where we would be sleeping that night.

We paced, tried to use the phones with no luck, and were isolated because of the language barrier. I don't think we have ever felt so alone and desperate. The desperation came from the knowledge that our daughter was going to be waiting to meet us and us not show up? That thought was too much for me to process at the time, and I kept saying silent prayers, holding out faith.

Faith has carried us through so many hurdles in life, and this day and night were no different. Again a miracle for us when out of 590 flights that were grounded that day, 7 flights made it out of Beijing. WE made it to her province...it was 2 am...but we made it! Relief and gratitude were all we felt when our plane touched the ground.

There always seem to be great trials before the blessings. Faith is such a blessing. Both our daughter and the act of believing. For over a year we have dealt with unknowns, and concerns about her health, personality, disability. Faith is what kept us going, and hoping. I don't know how others get through life without it.

With little sleep, and a small backpack full of toys we walked into that room and met our daughter. All those unknowns were gone the moment we laid eyes on her. I wanted to be strong and not cry because I thought that might confuse the moment for her, and I wanted her to know the pure joy I felt that moment.

Since that day, she is constantly amazing us. I look back at the fears and insecurities I had about her diagnosis and feel such relief now. Not that she is perfect, or that the road won't have it's bumps, it's just that those fears and insecurities are not there anymore. They are just the details, she is OUR daughter.

Those first few days are a beautiful memory, we would just sit and stare at her. Examine her little toes, her ears...we found every scar. She has three. One on her leg that looks like a bug bite, one on the back of her ear that looks like a small cut, and one on her arm that looks like a shot. I played with her hair, and just cuddled, she let me... Jeff and I just couldn't believe she was OURS, what a miracle adoption is and how privileged we are be a part of it.

We love you darling Faith, more than words! Happy One Month Anniversary!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Me Tarzan...You Jane

She was just laughing when she put this on her head, and so were we...it is new and clean.
A ride in the basket from the siblings!

Eating Crackers in the basket...
A new friend Dallis...Happy Birthday today!

Hello... many people are asking how do we communicate? Well, it's not easy. There is a lot of grunting and pointing on Faith's side, much like Tarzan in the jungle. And then there is us, all following her around and giving her whatever she grunts for. It is really pretty funny. She has also picked up on some fun words. When I am changing her into her pajama pants she will put her arm out and laugh when she knows I want her foot. I will say , " Si Si funny girl." Then she will say back to me , " Ma Ma funny girl." It is so dang cute! Also, when she wiggles away I will tell her she is " very sneaky sneaky." And she will repeat, " neaky neaky" We are just having the best time. The best words so far have to be, " I love you!" We will tell her this, and she will say in her best english " Happy You." Which is her way of saying " I love you."

Also, her frustration level is completely gone. She is so happy and sweet. She is giving us kisses several times a day. Her and Kylee have such a wonderful bond. Tonight Kylee came home from a basketball game, and Faith ran to greet her with a "Ni Hao Kylee!"

The big brothers have not been left out. They have a game she started, where she will lead them to sit on the couch in another room, then run away, and expect the boys to chase her back to the kitchen. Once they get to the kitchen, it starts all over again. We just love her laugh!

When it comes to daddy, it's open season for teasing. For several days when Jeff would leave for work, she would run to the door and say, " Ba Ba Boo Gwy" with the biggest smile on her face. Jeff thought it was so sweet until I told him it meant... Daddy not cute! Now Jeff pretends to be sad when she says this, and she has changed it to Ba Ba How Gwy" (Daddy cute) and gives him a kiss.

She is trying all sorts of food now, and likes several things. She eats toast with peanut butter, candy kisses, Ritz crackers, scrambled eggs with soy sauce, chicken nuggets and fries. She also likes milk if I warm it up a little.

We are almost done with her medical appointments. She had all her lab work done last week and she is very healthy with a excellent count on her antibodies. The doctors office called today and said they consider her to be a well child at this point. What a relief. The big elephant in the room is still hanging over our heads and that is her diagnosis from China from the CT scan. She has to have an MRI and that is scheduled at Children's Hospital in Seattle for Friday February 12th. She will have to have anesthesia, and we are not looking forward to it. But we need to know...and this is the only way.

Many small miracles are happening each day. One concern has been her bedtime and schedule. We want her to be secure and happy and not have bedtime be a trauma. After a few successful nights in her own bed she had reverted to not wanting to go to bed and crying with out us being able to console her. It just broke my heart, and I said a small prayer for inspiration and understanding. Just because she cannot tell me what she needs doesn't mean that Heavenly Father can't inspire and direct through the Holy Ghost. The next day I had a thought, and tried it that night. When it came time for bed; I enlisted all the siblings. Then I carried Faith to each of their rooms where we said, "night night", gave them a kiss, tucked them in bed turned off their light and closed their door. We did all three older siblings. Then when we got to her room, she was excited to pull back the covers and get into bed. She said night night and gave me a kiss. This has worked two nights in a row. I know this was inspiration and am grateful for these small miracles.